questions, what are we becoming? where did our dreams go to?
school and work, seems like there's almost no time for everything. during this work+school lifestyle, i felt 2 things : loneliness and emptiness. maybe there were just a few moments of true joy. just a few. being the think too much and nothing is done person, i am going to try change this time, think enough and do something for once. maybe we are all "young adults" now, everyone is trying to experience or rather feel like an adult, this begets the third question, is it worth it? working your youth your nights away, just to achieve material success. the funny thing about money is, you want it to be able to spend it with people that you love, yet you neglect them in the process to get more of it.
nothing is important anymore best describes what i feel now; money? fuck it. friends? i don't know, some of them change too fast that i'll just have to accept them as they are. family? maybe i do, i think i love my brother alot, which is why i will never ever introduce him into highlanders despite him asking for job vacancies, perhaps i should just give him part of my pay. interests? they are still there, but no one to share them with, or time, will remember when we used to go swimming or basketball and jamming together. emptiness is a fucking epidemic spreading so quickly, but i will stay true to myself, i will buzz off, cut ties where there is a need to. i'll fill this emptiness with happiness, which i'm still searching for and in hopes will find it soon, not with more money in bank, smoke in my lungs, branded clothes to cover, alcohol to forget or shallowness to impress.
i know this post seems confused but i think those who truly understand me will understand what is needed to, and i think those are the very minority. life goes on, and as what jw said, " as friends, all we can do is advise, any more we are a bore, any less we are not doing what friends should do." nothing much is going to change on the surface but in due time, causes and effects will show.
i'll choose loneliness over emptiness, and forgive me for doing so.
[Buddies]
weiming
chunkit
zhengyang
qinxiang
yong
peng
dexter
weizhe
zhikang&weekiat
pinwen
daphne
junwei
joyce
zhenhui
kayjoo
shuhui
allena
xperimentingxperiments
romi
joe
garry
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